Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
my liver is dry heaving
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
