I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize