Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
