think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
