He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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