I look better un-naked...
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just invented taco cereal.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize