what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
