i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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