Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
