I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
