Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
