problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
