the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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