You're completely useless in the revolution.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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