he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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