He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
