dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize