I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
