Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize