How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
