this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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