I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
