You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
