Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize