I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
