Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
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