Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
