yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
