And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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