what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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