someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
