Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize