I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
