she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize