Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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