Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
