Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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