My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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