you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
