I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
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