Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
don't judge my taste in strippers
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
