Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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