Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize