i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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