we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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