So drunk its hurt
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Randomize
