After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I can't turn off my feet"
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
