bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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