I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
