my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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