SEEEEXXX PLEASE
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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