i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize