No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
