i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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