i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
