so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
