out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
