It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
