I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
