apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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