Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
God, you're like boner-b-gone
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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