'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
FUCK WHALES
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
